Modern Urban Norman Rockwell (wonkakillskids) wrote in the_rum_diary,
Modern Urban Norman Rockwell
wonkakillskids
the_rum_diary

I am the other guy who runs this popsicle stand...

Please read it if you want... but you don't have to. It's just a screenplay depicting my life story. Pretty long too... but worth a gander.

Open with all black.
Blinks from white to black, slow at first.
Gaining speed.


VOICE OVER (MALE)
As I sit here in the local donut shop, I start to think about how much I’m worth. Not a whole lot, if I do say so myself. What have I done to change the world? Have I done something that guarantees me happiness? (pause) Nothing at all. I live day by day, barely alive while people with so much to live for get shot up in a blaze of bullets over ten bucks. (drink being slurped) If their lives cost so little, how much is mine worth? I don’t think I’d be able to call anyone with my self worth. (hear pages to a paper being turned) Is this too much for you?


Flash of light.
All we see is an eye.
Staring at the audience.


V.O.
Too bad. This is my movie., not yours. Fine, leave the theatre. Leave your living room after you’ve rented my life story. What can I say? No refund, that’s what. Just sit your ass back down and watch a little. You might learn something. Better yet, I might learn something as well. I guess I’ll begin at the end of my life...


cut to:


FUNERAL PARLOR


Old man in casket.
GUY walks into the shot.
A little scruffy beard.
Appears to wear thrift store clothing.
Hair is messy.

GUY (SAME AS V.O.)
Wait a minute. You think I’m dead? In your dreams. I don’t even know this old guy. So why are we here?


Points to another guy in the background.
It’s himself, only slightly younger looking.
Talking to a girl.
More like he’s talking and the girl is screaming.
You can just "hear" the silent expletives.
Only words we hear from the girl is...


GIRL
It’s over Trent.

OLDER TRENT (V.O.)
Commence heartbreak.


Younger Trent is grasping at his heart.


OLDER TRENT
Now in shock.


His face is in shock.
Show Older Trent now.


OLDER TRENT (counting his fingers)
The tears should be flowing in 3, 2, 1.


Younger Trent sits down and starts to cry a lot.


OLDER TRENT
Bingo! I’m such a cry baby.


Girl walks away finally.
Younger Trent just sits there, stunned.
Older Trent is shown on screen again.


OLDER TRENT
That’s just one of my many breakups. You’d think I’d learn. But I can’t grasp how to make a girl happy.


cut to:


EXT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT


People are walking in.
Doors open and we hear loud music.
All dark inside.
It’s Cosmic Bowling time.
Young people everywhere, drinking away while attempting to bowl.
Older Trent walks from the side of the screen.


OLDER TRENT
I lead a fun life. I work at a bowling alley.


We see a little scuffle start.
Two guys yelling about someone’s girl.
Trent comes from behind the lanes.


TRENT
Come on guys. We don’t want this to get ugly.


Bottle hits Trent on the head.
Doesn’t break.
He falls forward a little, holding the back of his head.
Gets hit again with the same bottle.
This time it shatters.
Falls to the floor this time.
The guy holding the remainder of the bottle cheers.
All his friends cheer as well.


TRENT (V.O.)
I never knew bowling was a contact sport.


A man in a shirt and a tie walks over.
Must be the manager, to help our hero out.


MANAGER (to TRENT)
I really don’t like your face. Don’t bother coming in anymore.

TRENT (V.O.)
Ok, what I should’ve said was had a job here at this fantastic establishment. At least I stopped the fight with my head.


cut to:


INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

A small apartment.
A full size bed.
A desk with a computer on it.
Trent is sitting there, holding a towel to his head.
Bleeding a lot because head wounds bleed way too much.
He is smiling though.
He points to his computer screen.
At a particular Instant Message box.


TRENT
That’s Dana. She can cheer me up even when I’m at my lowest.


Suddenly, a GIRL moves onto the scene, just like Trent does.


GIRL
Hi everyone. My name is Dana. Trent is a lying fag. Just thought I should fill you all in on that important information.

TRENT
Do you mind? I’m trying to tell a story here.

DANA
I see you trying. Succeeding is another story altogether. Look how funny I am! I made a pun from your wanting to tell a story.

TRENT
Yes, you are the best ever. But you’re not supposed to be introduced until later on.

DANA (sarcastically)
I’m so sorry. I really am.

TRENT
Off the screen. Now!

DANA
I’m going... asshole!


Dana walks off screen.


TRENT
Can’t you feel the love? I mean, seriously people. I love this girl. But I can’t tell her that. I don’t want to scare her away with my extreme honesty.


He sighs.

TRENT
Now where was I? Just stating the fact that she makes me happiest in my life. And we’ve only met once. Now you’re all thinking, "Aww, love at first sight." I guess you can say that.


cut to:


Close up of Dana’s picture, thumbnail size.
On a comment to Trent’s journal.


TRENT
That was our first contact with one another. Yes people, we met because of the wonderful internet. Before you all start laughing and don’t take me seriously, listen to this. My last girlfriend, who I was with for well over two and a half years, was also met through online. She lived in Ohio and I moved all the way there to be with her. I know, I’m a hopeless romantic.


cut to:


EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

People in moo moos smoking outside of their apartments.
Focusing on one apartment.


TRENT (V.O.)
We had a great relationship. Once...


Screaming is heard behind the door.
Door swings open suddenly.
See a punkish looking girl on the floor crying.
Cursing like a sailor, barely getting the words out.
Trent comes into view now.
Goes down to comfort her.
She smacks his face, severely hard.
He moves away from her, starts to walk towards the door.


PUNKISH GIRL
Trent!

TRENT
Yes Sally?

SALLY
Come back please.

TRENT
So we could fight some more?

SALLY
Fine, leave then. I fucking hate you. You’ll never amount to anything in life.

GUY
I wish girls came with instructions.

GIRL
It’s ok Trent. Everything will be alright.

Trent
No it won’t. Leina, have you ever been in love?


Slowly cuts to another place.
Bright.
Beautiful.
A bedroom is shown.
Two people playfully wrestling.
A man and a woman.
Smiles on both their faces.
Trent is one of them.
The WOMAN just smiles and grabs a hold of his hand.


WOMAN
I love you so much Trent.

TRENT
I love you too Adeline. I never want to lose you.


Darkness hits the room.
All becomes silent.
Trent looks around, with a look of fear in his eyes.
Adeline gets up.
Trent looks at her.
The door opens.
Another MAN is standing there.
She walks over to the MAN.
Trent tries to speak, but holds his mouth.
Nothing.
Adeline kisses the MAN and leaves the room with him.
Trent seems to be screaming.
Tears rolling down his face.
The door closes.
All is dark now.


LEINA
Trent, are you alright?


TRENT
Sorry. My mind was somewhere else.


Opening credits roll.
Music is played.

Cut to:


INT. LIVING ROOM


Trent is sitting at a desk.
Looking at a computer screen.
Typing something up.
Clicks the mouse button.
Screen says completed entry.
We see he is writing in an online journal.
Doorbell rings.
Trent walks over to the intercom.


TRENT
Who is it?

LEINA’S VOICE
It’s Leina.

TRENT
What’s the password?

LEINA
Fuck you Trent.

TRENT
Close enough. I’ll buzz you in.


Trent buzzes her in.
He opens the door and they hug.
Trent smiles and lets her in.
Trent sits back down at the computer.
Leina sits on his couch.



LEINA
Writing in that journal again?

TRENT
My public deserves to know all about my adventures.

LEINA
Adventures? How you act like an idiot with your friends at Burger King? How you yearn for Sally?

TRENT
Don’t say her name. That’s someone in my past.

LEINA
In your past? It’s been fucking 2 weeks Trent. You can still mourn the loss.

TRENT
My loss. It’s not like she’s dead or anything. She’s alive and kicking ass as usual.

LEINA
I know, I’m sorry.

TRENT
No, don’t be. I’m the sorry one. I fucked it up.

LEINA
You know what you need?

TRENT
A kick in the crotch?

LEINA
That will come later.


They both laugh at that.


TRENT
What do I need?

LEINA
A night out on the town.

TRENT
I’m not a party animal.

LEINA
Who said you had to be?

TRENT
I did. That’s the only way I’d be able to enjoy myself.

LEINA
What? With a drink in your hand and a cigarette in between your lips?

TRENT
More or less.

LEINA
I don’t smoke. I don’t drink much.

TRENT
I don’t drink at all.

LEINA
Why should you have to?

TRENT
Sometimes I just want to drink my troubles away.

LEINA
Then you’d be an alcoholic.

TRENT
Wouldn’t be the first time.

LEINA
Look Trent, stop living with all of this burden. She might take you back.

TRENT
She said no.

LEINA
Wait, when did you try?

TRENT
Last night. I called her up. Begged her back. Cried my eyes out. And she rightfully said no.

LEINA
I’m so sorry.


Trent starts to cry.
Leina walks over to him and tries to hug him.
He pulls away.


TRENT
I don’t need a fucking hug. I don’t need help. I need Sally. It’s that simple. I’m incomplete without her.

LEINA
And the more you think that, the more of an idiot you are.

TRENT
What the fuck do you mean?

LEINA
She was an important part of your life, I know that. She was your better half, most people are Trent. But you need to go on. The more you beat yourself up over this, the worse you’ll feel in the future.

TRENT
I need her.

LEINA
I know. But wouldn’t you rather have her as a friend then nothing at all?

TRENT
Of course. But sometimes, I’m selfish.

LEINA
Most of the time.

TRENT
Fine, most of the time I’m selfish. I don’t want her to be with anyone else. I want her to be with me. I love her with all my heart and right now I don’t know what to do with myself.

LEINA
Make her proud of you.

TRENT
She already is, so to speak. Proud of her ex boyfriend who is a bum and has no life.

LEINA
Then change your life. Stop making everyone pity you.

TRENT
I don’t ask for their pity.

LEINA
I didn’t say you did. But they pity you because of all the pain and turmoil you are going through. What about Sally’s?

TRENT
I know she is sad. But she’ll get over me.

LEINA
Trust me Trent, she’ll never get over you. You went out with one another for almost three years. You shared everything. You did everything with each other.

TRENT
And now it’s all gone.

LEINA
Yes it is, but how do you know she won’t call you tomorrow and say she wants to be with you again?

TRENT
I know it won’t happen. She’s happier now being single and just having her space, which I didn’t give to her.

LEINA
Then this might be the best thing that has happened for the two of you. This might be the proving ground for your love.

TRENT
Maybe...

LEINA
Don’t doubt me Trent!


She smacks him in the back of the head.
He grabs at his head and sticks his middle finger at her.



TRENT
What was that for?

LEINA
For making me pity you now.

TRENT
Fuck you.

LEINA
Ha ha! You aren’t my type Trent.

TRENT
I know that. Plus, brother and sister having sloppy sex isn’t right.

LEINA
You’re like my brother. Remember that. And you are coming out with me tonight.

TRENT
Do I have to?

LEINA
Yes you do. And if anyone bothers you, I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend.

TRENT
Thanks Leina. For being here for me.

LEINA
Any time. You’d do the same for me.

TRENT
Of course I would.

LEINA
Now let’s pick you out some clothes.


Cut to:

EXT. FUCKING A! CLUB

Many people standing outside of it.
We see a cab pull up and Trent and Leina exit it.
Trent is dressed in "thrift store" jeans and a tight t-shirt.
Wearing a mesh cap and Chucks he’s drawn on.
Leina is dressed nicely in a corset.
You know they couldn’t be a couple.


LEINA
Here we are.

TRENT
God, I don’t fit in here.

LEINA
So what? I don’t either. It’s just attitude.

TRENT
Good or bad?

LEINA
Usually bad attitude works.

TRENT
You with a bad attitude? You’ve got to be kidding me.

LEINA
You think so? Watch this.


Leina walks over the bouncer standing outside the club.
She looks at him and starts to walk inside.
He grabs her shoulder.
She turns around, with rage in her face.


LEINA
How dare you touch me you brute! This is Gucci. Ever touch it again and I’ll sue you and your whole fucking family?

BOUNCER
I’m sorry miss. Go right in.


Trent looks amazed.
He shrugs to himself and proceeds to try the same thing as Leina.
The bouncer grabs him and he turns around.
Attempting at rage.
The bouncer laughs in his face.
Trent smiles and takes out his wallet.
Shows his id.
The bouncer waves him in.
Trent walks inside, holding his heart.


TRENT
(to himself)
How did she do that?


cut to:


DANCE FLOOR


Rock band on stage.
People are swaying and dancing to the music.
Someone falls down and people around him help him up.
Trent enters this area and sees Leina across the room.
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