Grass Stains On My Bum (vivalamande) wrote in the_rum_diary,
Grass Stains On My Bum
vivalamande
the_rum_diary

I haven't posted anything as of yet, so I guess there is no time like the present.



Of all the things I could say to you...
You forgot your cigarettes.
What a sightly thing they make
Sitting next to the
Out-of-date alarm clock
On top of the night stand
Next to the bed.
The room smelling of sex.
The sheets smelling of you.
Why are people crazy?
Why did you never learn to play chess?
Why did you crawl out of bed
In the wee hours of the morning?
Out of these arms that held you so tight?
I'm still very afraid of you.
You have this age-old habit
Of vanishing.
Willingly walking
Out of my life.
I think something happened.
Somewhere between that
Winding road
And the moon
Behind the trees.
It all came together
While we sat
Silently
In the car
Staring at the wall.
"Not as great as the Co-op parking lot,
But it'll do."
Do for what?
Did you have some
Foreboding idea
That our souls
Would empty themselves
In the silence
Of the night?
I'm not sure what I'll make of this.
What can be made of this?
I'm not sure if I'm ready for
My heart to be settled
Over you.
The thundering behind my eyes
Makes everything so bleak.
As I bolted upright in bed
Confused by my surroundings.
Your hand on my back
Eased me in to bed.
Right back in to your arms
Where I promptly fell asleep.
How smooth was that?
As if you had been easing me
Of my nightmares
For a lifetime.
Time to change rooms.
With my hands on my face.
My head on the floor.
So many unanswered questions
Rolling around on my tongue.
Like the taste of honey dew
In the heat of the summer.
Like the taste of 2% milk
Gone sour.
Like the scent of you
On my pillow.
I can never breathe in deep enough.
Just one night.
Feels like forever.
Gone in an instant.
Was it always this cold in here?
Or just after you left?
I don't want to put a name to this.
On our lips.
Whispering endearments.
Not yet.
God help me if that was emptiness in your eyes.
Trying to get away.
To run
Again.
No need for words just yet.
No need to name this thing
Called love.
And as I closed my eyes
All I could think about
Was how much I wanted
To touch your hand.
Your face.
In the darkness of the car.
And how the last thing I heard
Before falling asleep
Was something I would hold close
To my heart for
An eternity.
"Goodnight, Beautiful."
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